Archive for the ‘Humour’ Category

Melbourne, Australia, Earth
1 April 2013
Loren W


Sweden to be ‘UnSwedishable’

In a bizarre move Google has purchased the country of Sweden, and plans to change the country’s name, to Plats som faktiskt sverige The result of this is the introduction of the world ‘UnSwedishable’ meaning cannot find in Sweden as there is no Sweden any more. This is expected to end the bitter lawsuit between the 2 global super powers. When asked for a comment Tech-News.TV was told, ‘vem är du’ and lämna innan jag ringa polisen dig mutter jobb and Jag hatar idots som du, du inte förstår någonting gör du.

Google denied the story saying this was no way in response to Sweden wanting to add the word ogooglebar to the Swedish dictionary. The language council is under the authority of the Swedish culture ministry, the Swedish Academy determines which words are officially accepted.

 About the Author
wanted 2
Loren is an anglo-american hybrid  has been in the tech industry for 19 years, his accomplishments include introducing business broadband in 1994 in the
UK for British Telecom, SaaS, and Data Centre Services in Australia for NEC and others, debugging iPads for Apple. He has been around so long his 200,000 followers on twitter @mr_internet feel sorry for him and hang around.  He likes telling bad jokes and going to cooking schools in 20 countries, and speaking 3rd person about himself.  He blames not getting enough oxygen as a child for some of this. 


17 March 2013
Melbourne Oz

Why RT is the necrosis of Microsoft (cut it off)

As a fan of Paul ‘MacGvyer’ Thurrott, of fame, I was pleased on many occasions to hear him agree that RT was not very good, however, recently views have contradicted this and hints of some ‘saveability; have been alluded to being possible.

Paul is not responsible for RT but it got me a bit curious why anyone would hold this view and made me think for some reason of the great adventurer / writer Ranuplh Fiennes.
In 2009, when explorer Fiennes became the oldest person to climb Mt Everest at 65, and later the oldest to stroll solo around the north pole alone, he eventually got necrosis in some of his fingers and cut them off himself. Cutting off his fingers did not take away from him being one of the greatest adventures of all times (and a damn good writer as well).
I see Windows RT as Microsoft’s own necrosis. A perhaps well-conceived idea, poorly communicated, poorly delivered and poorly priced. Having recently purchased the average Asus ME400C Tablet, I realized very quickly that currently Windows 8 is not happy in tablet form. It needs a keyboard and a mouse to survive. Try entering a URL in the browser a few times scroll around any website, to read something, and you might start wanting to question your own digits, or eyes as to the awkwardness of it all. Or pick up an iPad or a Android Nexus 10.
The real issue here if nothing else is price. The Asus ME400C, a great device ( that is had it been released 12 or 24 months ago) but is priced $80 less than an RT device. Running the full version of Windows 8, I am not sure why anyone would want RT if well informed, and something the media (including PMT) seems to have missed.

If Microsoft was to have released RT and Pro (full Win8) at the same time it could be viewed as a 2 different products for 2 different purposes and at 2 different price points. But with the eventual well staggered release dates, and the actual lower price point of full featured devices why would anyone on there right mind not think the 2nd is an evolution of the 1st.

If Microsoft is not careful (it might be too late already) RT will be their next Vista (though I was fan of Vista).

About the Author:
A pompous old guy, from Melbourne Oz, via Texas, California, and England, that was laughed at by his peers when he tried to stop them @  BT from enforcing a patent on the ‘http’ protocol, earned the name mrinternet, and for spite introduced business broadband on the world.  Serves them right.

Earth: The Recent Past
Aug 2012




Microsoft Unified Tile Embedded Development 

Formerly METRO UI the new head of MUTED Marcel Marceau offered no comment when asked to confirm the new name. Emma Neenja communications manager also refused to comment on MUTED.



Or a Funny Thing Happened on The Way to the Webisphere ?

I have had more than a few folks ask (especially recently) where I got my twitter tag of @mr_internet due to the arrogance of its perception. That arrogance (not my fault actually) is why I got the nickname, and it stuck and I kept it to remind me that humility is not a bad thing.

The kind of interesting story goes like this, I have been pretty blessed to be on the front line of the creation of business grade Internet in the UK.

I was working for a large telco , (one of the largest and oldest in the world) I was lead on the team that introduced several new products across the globe one being something called

business broadband (perhaps you hear of it). One of the cool things about the Internet has been how it evolved slightly differently in different countries and with what sort of products is that its life cycle is different in different countries.

The US got the internet from DARPA and ARPA, as a result of the USSR and Sputnik etc, meanwhile (and forgotten by many) the UK developed packet switching. Vinton Cerf with others developed TCP in the US, the latter bit was in the 70’s

The WWW , Tim Berners-Lee, CERN  thing happened in 1989. Though hotly debated there is a view that UK invented the Internet (with the first multi-national Internet usage). The first head of state sending an internet communication between countries was Queen Elizabeth II.

So here I was part of the team introducing new Business Internet  products and the face (as ugly as it might be)  for this telcom  giant, with one of my jobs being taking the front line on initial legal issues from customers.

Unknown to me the higher up sin the organisation decided to exercise a patent law it had unearthed, saying they had invented hyperlinks under patent 4873662 in 1989.

The Telco then started discussions with a view of extracting funds from ISPs to license hyperlinks  and hypertexts  http://www . This meant the mere million users of the Internet at the time were likely to face costs and the few ISPs at the time Prodigy facing the highest costs).

This went viral as much as it could in the early days of the Internet, I was first made aware of it when I was called for an interview and was asked (thinking I had something to do with it personally) , ” Who Do you think you are  Mr Internet’ ?

The Telco eventually let the patent enforcement go silent (not dead). But the press (and my colleagues) kept the Mr Internet  nickname for so long I eventually kept it as a reminder of the potential arrogance that can come out of this business and to never forget about the most important part of the business (me.. no) the customer.


Loren (@mr_internet)

Well it happens every 4 years.
What the Olympics- No, The Commonwealth Games, No.

Ahh, it’s the Australian census. That fun little half hour or so you spend answering questions about everything from how many sprog you have to, do you have a car or a bike. Last time an entertaining spamming campaign to Australians asked them to put their religion down as Jedi”. This resulted in over 70,000 census results for the “force” sensitive beings.

The result was that “Jedi” was the fastest growing religion in 2002. As the results are supposed to cater for the answers we give, I am still waiting for our temple.

This time we are treated to an e-census, the ability to answer all your question online (if the system will let you login).

This year we have seen no such spam. We do get spam but hopefully the fasted growing religion this time won’t be V1agra.


Concert Ticket Generator

Posted: August 1, 2006 in Humour

Lost a concert ticket from a long time ago. Replace it here.

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 Keith Olbermann pwns O’Reilly


I have never heard of KO until today, though I knew of an issue BOR has with MSN (now I know).

I am an occasional watcher of BOR, and shall remain so (despite the fact he does not tell the truth on some occasions).

I am surprised a bit that BOR has made the same mistake (or lied) twice on the same fact.

I am also disspointed that FOX chose to change the transcripts to match what BOR said he said, and not what the video actually shows.

The TRANSCRIPTS ARE HERE,2933,197635,00.html

What say you ?


An interesting conversation from two of America’s biggest blow hards. Who do you think had the upper hand?

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Perhaps where AOL get’s their training from?
I have used the mp3 of this for years at presentations around the world.

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Due to the amount of martial art trained criminals they have to deal with, the Taiwan Swat Teams not only train with weapons but hand to hand (but at a whole different level).

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Insane College Dorm Room Prank!

Posted: July 14, 2006 in Humour

Twelve students at Brandeis used 600 galvanized screws to turn a unsuspecting classmate’s dorm completely upside-down! A must see video!

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They can sniff out drugs, find lost people and track down suspects, but K-9s are not trained to drive. Woof Woof (no lassie signal first).

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Free Porn Filters that is. Internet pornography has become a hot issue politically. If kids didn’t want access before they will now. Geez.

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Lion gets Pwned by Zebra

Posted: July 14, 2006 in Humour, Video

Uh, see the lion get pwned by a zebra.

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